The TEBOW Question

If you are a sports fan, I am sure you have heard and seen all the attention given to the Denver Broncos Quarterback, Tim Tebow. To be honest I don't know why Tim Tebow has garnered so much attention. But it was enough to grab my attention. I don't watch too much T.V. so I try to catch the latest sports news on ESPN. And for almost two weeks, every time I tuned in, the sports casters were talking about Tebow. I knew of Tebow from his colleges days at the University of Florida, but because I only follow California teams, I didn't pay him too much attention.

But this last week I watched a documentary on Tebow, and it has prompted me to ask "The Tebow Question." After watching the documentary, I went and did some research on Tebow and was quite surprise to find out about all of his accomplishments. Throughout his college career, Tebow won every major award a football player could win. Player of the year, quarterback of the year, two national championships, 1st Team honors and about 100 other awards. If you are a sports fan, then you know what I'm talking about, if not, take my word Tebow was the Man!

Here's where the story takes a twist. With all his accomplishments, NO Pro Team in the National Football League (NFL) wanted to draft or hire Tebow. Everyone said that Tebow was a great college player, but would not be able to play at the NEXT LEVEL. Here is where "The Tebow Question" comes into play. Tim Tebow was awarded the top awards, yet he was still doubted by everyone. Literally to play at the NEXT LEVEL, Tebow had to prove himself, reinvent himself and humble himself. So "The Tebow Question" becomes........ Are you willing to do what it takes to live your dreams?

After winning every award imaginable, Tebow was told he was not good enough. Tim Tebow could have become bitter, but instead he said, I will become better. Is that your attitude? Tebow began a development regiment that had him training everyday, for eight hours a day. Tebow took the negative and used it for positive.

Each of us wanting to go to the NEXT LEVEL of life, business or career, must answer "The Tebow Question." Are you willing to do what it takes to live your dreams?

After proving himself, reinventing himself and humbling himself, Tebow was selected 25th in the NFL draft, and is now a starting quarterback. He is living his dream, because he answered "The Tebow Question." YES, I am willing!!!


Remember,

Think Better, Live Better 

LEADERS SACRIFICE

When I was in the military, one of the first things I learned was that leaders sacrifice. Leaders are first to work and last to leave, leaders ensure that the team has what they need, even if it means they go without. From the moment I entered Basic Training I was taught to think of the team first.


Today I talked with a dear friend that reminded me of this principle. As we talked on the phone and caught up with each other, I asked him how work was going. He explained that he just took over a new unit, Nate is a First Sergeant in the United States Army. Nate told me that he got the unit because he turned down the opportunity to drive for the President of the United States. Yes, that President.

Nate is an exceptional leader and recently completed an assignment driving for a 3-Star General in Washington, D.C. His reward so to speak was being assigned to the President's driving team.

Why did Nate turn this great opportunity down you ask? Because leaders sacrifice. Nate has a beautiful family that has supported him throughout his military career. Earlier on in his career, he was not able to pick and choose where he wanted to be assigned, so this meant the family had to up root several times. Well this time was different, he had a choice.

When he talked with his family about the opportunity to drive for the President, he noticed the disappointment on his teenage daughter's face. Nate accepting this assignment, would mean the family would have to move and his daughter would have to change schools for a third time in four years.

Nate made the choice to allow his daughter to finish her high school years at her current school. Nate is a leader that knows "Leaders Sacrifice." A great leader is always thinking about the team, how decisions affect the whole. Nate made a decision that I feel will enhance his family team for years to come. I salute his decision


Remember,

Think Better, Live Better!

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TAKE INVENTORY

Do you really know what’s available to you? Do you really know what it takes to be the success you want to be?

Over the weekend, I spent time organizing all the files on my computer, my external drives, mem-sticks and notebooks. I am always writing, collecting information and jotting down ideas on paper. Then every two months or so, I bring all the information into one place and begin to organize it.

Well this week, as I was going through all the information, it was like looking at an old photo album and with each picture, it brought back a memory. As I looked at an old sticky note, I would remember when that idea came to me. Then I started looking at all the business cards I acquired networking around the city.

I was amazed at all the wonderful people I have met since moving to Arizona last year. There are some real movers and shakers, people that are doing some wonderful things to make my city and the world better.

When I looked at all the information and all the cards, a wonderful thought came to me. The thought that came to me was, “You are sitting on a GOLD MINE.” Immediately I knew what my mind was saying to me, with the information and people I have collected in my tool box, I have a GOLD MINE, something valuable!!!

The next step was for me to assemble the knowledge and the people and make something great happen. Everything I need for this season of my life was right here, waiting for me to realize it. It reminded me of a book I read before called Acres of Diamonds. It tells stories of people who didn’t realize what they had right in front of them, so they discarded what they had, to look for something else, or what they thought was better.

TODAY!!! I want you to begin to TAKE INVENTORY of your skills, gifts and talents. The people that are in your life, who do you admire, who can help you move to the next level? It’s time to build your championship team; it’s time to make a run for the ring. It’s a new season, time to regroup, refocus and re-launch your life.

When you take inventory, I bet you, there is a person you were suppose to call, an idea you were suppose to explore. You have what you need right in your house, stop waiting, and stop procrastinating.

DO IT NOW, DO IT NOW, DO IT NOW, DO IT NOW, DO IT NOW, DO IT NOW, DO IT NOW, DO IT NOW, DO IT NOW, DO IT NOW!!!


Man I’m so pumped up and ready to hear all the stories………………..

Remember,

Think Better, Live Better

PASSION LIFE vs PASSIVE LIFE

Almost everyday I read someone’s status on Facebook; I hear someone in the local grocery store or talk with someone on the phone about how miserable their job is or how unsatisfied they are with their current position in life. And without fail the majority of the time the root of the matter is they are not living their Passion Life, but their Passive Life.

What do I mean by Passive Life, when I looked the word passive up, here is what I found. Passive is not participating readily or actively. I love it, when you are living your Passive Life; you are not ready or active in your daily life. Why is that, because you are not passionate about what you are doing.

How do most people end up living a Passive Life versus a Passion Life, because they take the road MOST traveled. We all have heard the statement “Get a good education that leads to a good job, with good benefits.” Well the problem is many get a good education in the wrong thing.

You can pick up any magazine and find articles that say, the highest paid career fields or fastest moving industries. So people select their degree fields based on that information. Stuff they can learn to do, but they are not passionate about. Years later they feel like robots. Wake up, get dress, do their job, go home, wake up, get dress, do their job, go home. This continues for years until they feel trapped, because they bought a house, car and a bunch of stuff they thought would make them feel better.

I know you may be reading this and say, that’s me, now what. Well it’s not too late for you to live a Passion Life. The first step is to admit, I’m living a Passive Life, and not my Passion Life.

The next step is to identify what is your Passion Life. For me it was to help people Live In Victory Everyday. Through my public speaking, books, seminars and training. Well, when I figured this out, I was in the Army, making a comfortable living and pretty successful by many standards. But I wasn’t passionate about what I was doing any more. Granted, when I first joined, I was excited, it was new, it was a new experience, but after six years, the new car smell had worn off.


The third step is you have to make a decision; I had to make one of the most difficult decisions in my life, to walk away from a comfortable Passive Life. I mean, I made guaranteed money, I was being promoted very fast, on track to lead a very successful military career, BUT, it wasn’t my passion. Remember, the definition for passive, not participating readily or actively. It was a struggle for me to wake up in the morning; I was using so much energy to complete a full day’s work.

The final step in the first phase of living your Passion Life; create a blueprint, a plan, an outline for how you will transition from a Passive Life, to a Passion Life. Once you know what you want to do, find out from where you currently are, what will it take to live your Passion Life? Maybe not a new degree, but some specific courses, maybe some specialized training.

Let’s recap the steps. First you have to admit, I’m living a Passive Life, next identify what is my Passion Life. Thirdly, make the decision, that you will not SPEND the rest of your life living a Passive Life, but start INVESTING in your Passion Life. Lastly, write out your blueprint.

My last bit of advice, don’t share with people your plans right off the bat. Most people that are living a Passive Life are very fearful, and will project their fear on you many times. Family, friends and colleagues many times mean well, and feel they are saving you from a whole lot of pain.

When I decided to leave the military, EVERY ONE told me I was crazy, every one of my supervisors told me I was making a mistake. But I had already made the decision two years earlier, so I was ready for all their questions and backlash. I knew they wanted the best for me, so I didn’t take it personally. Today I still speak too many of them, and they share with me how proud they are of me and I made the RIGHT DECISION.

What if Bill Gates would have stayed in school, and not followed his PASSION to start Microsoft. Henry Ford went against the grain and the norm, Thomas Edison wouldn’t give up on his passion to create a light bulb. The Wright brothers never gave up on their passion to fly.

The world is waiting for you to live your PASSION LIFE, passion produces genius.


Remember,

Think Better, Live Better

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STOP WAITING ON BARACK

Each week I travel and listen to conversations addressing the many problems and issues facing America. I turn on my T.V. and see the sea of people sharing their opinions on what the Government or President Obama should do. It all makes for great debate, and in many cases heated exchanges between the two Vietnam Vets at the donut shop, all the way to the top intellectuals of our time.

Two years ago, I watched with pride, as so many others, President Obama be sworn into the highest office and into one of most powerful offices in the world. As I set in my home my eyes swelled with tears of joy. Not so much because a Black Man was being sworn into office, I would have felt the same, if it were a White Female, an Asian Male or Female, a Hispanic Male or Female or whatever. To me it was a step forward in humanity and equality. America’s view of humanity was shifting.

Having the opportunity to travel to many countries and living overseas for over a decade, I had the chance to see people of all social, economical and racial backgrounds. Living in Germany, I was there when Angela Merkel became Chancellor. Travelled to India to see

Pratibha Devisingh Patil another female sworn into the office of President. I have travelled to Ghana several times, and saw John Kofi Agyekum Kufuor who was President at the time. So I already had a visual of a Black President.

If you study history, you will find that the times we are experiencing right now are not new, and will not be the last time we experience these types of challenges. So what do we as individuals need to do, to not only survive, but thrive. Complaining, debating and pouting will not change your situation, but these few keys will set you up for success.

1. But God First
2. Believe Success is Yours
3. Be Specific about the Success you will Achieve

4. Build the Necessary Relationships

5. Make Small Improvements Daily

6. Develop a Desire to Serve

7. Strive to be Better, not Bigger
8. Develop your Financial Literacy
9. Protect your Health
10. Enjoy the Journey

Each of these keys can be implemented immediately; Congress doesn’t have to vote on them. The President doesn’t have to introduce them into law. Stop waiting on the President or anyone else for that matter to take control of your life.

In two or four years, President Obama will be out of office, he will sign a book deal, and First Lady Michelle will sign a book deal as well. They will hit the international speaking stage and become billionaires. Another person will be in the Whitehouse, and you will still be in your house, so don’t find yourself still complaining, debating and pouting about the same things. Create your own recovery plan and stimulus package now, and work it like you life depends upon it, because it does.

Think Better, Live Better!!!

THINK IT THROUGH

Everyday we are bombarded with bad, challenging or unpleasant news from some source. But at the end of the day, it is still our choice how we process the information we receive.

Here is a truth of life, trouble and bad things, indifferent things happen to everyone, but I have found that the way you RESPOND will make all the difference. Most people tend to REACT, rather than respond. Responding is a thought out plan to an event, as a reaction is an instant action in the heat of the moment.

You will probably agree that the majority of our worst outcomes our times when we didn’t take the time to think something through and we just made a random decision. Each day we are training ourselves how to respond or react to situations we don’t like.

Let me give you an example we can all relate to. Driving on the Freeway and some person (nice word used) cuts you off without signaling or anything. This is a training moment, do you respond or react. I know for me I want to react. Number one, by speeding up to catch this rude person, number two to give them THE LOOK and number three to fulfill the inner ego inside of me to say, “I showed them.”

But have you ever noticed once you pulled next to the car, the person is never looking at you or even worse, they are looking at you and you begin a screaming match with both windows closed driving at high speeds. JUST CRAZY, not a good look for you or me.


This type of behavior only grows and gets worse if we don’t learn how to RESPOND, rather than REACT.

So what we all have to learn to do is stop and always ask ourselves a few questions.

          1. Will responding or reacting make a difference?


          2. If I respond or react what is my goal?


          3. If I react, what message will I send about myself?


This doesn’t happen over night, but you must begin the process to change the way you think. So when you are presented with these little test, make sure you think, then RESPOND…………………



Remember,

Think Better, Live Better!!!

Are You Living Are Just Existing?

Over the weekend a business icon passed away. If you live in Detroit, Michigan you have no doubt heard of Don Barden, He was the first African American to own a Las Vegas casino and the first to own a major cable TV franchise. Mr. Darden was 67 at the time of his death. Upon hearing this news, I was shocked; I remember reading about Mr. Darden in a Black Enterprise magazine that he donned the cover some years ago.

I was impressed with his story of success from meager beginnings, to the great success he achieved in his life. But on that day I read about his passing, that number 67 stuck out to me.

It is said that life at it’s longest is far too short, I whole heartily agree. So my question for you today, Are You Living Are Just Existing?

I want you this week to examine your life and ask yourself a few questions. Along with the first question, I want you to ask yourself, am I living a life that if I died today, I lived it to the fullest. Next I want you to ask yourself, in the last few days, few hours of my life, can I look back with a smile.

No longer can you live someone else’s desires for you, you can’t afford to wake up everyday and be miserable. I’m not suggesting you quit your job today, or leave a relationship. But what I am saying, ask yourself what is necessary for me to live the life I will enjoy. Start charting out a course that will lead you there. If it is a career change, start planning for it this week. Your relationships need some adjustments, then get the help to make it happen.

Decide today that you are not just going to exist, but you are going to live life to the fullest and explore the best in life.

Expand your mind to what is possible. Grab a magazine about exotic places today and start dreaming. Stop telling yourself you can’t afford to live a better life; you can’t afford not to live a better life.

This week plan to meet new people that can open you to new experiences. Go somewhere new, eat somewhere new. Every Sunday when you review your week, I want you to be able to point out one memorable thing you did that past week. Whether it was a call to an old friend, a walk on the beach, a special time with your family, don’t allow another week to go by unlived.

Let’s get to living, not just existing!!!

Think Better, Live Better

DOES ANYONE CARE?

I crew up in Compton, Ca in what some described as one of the roughest neighborhoods in America. The sound of gun shots was a normal occurrence during the night. Loud sounding police alarms and ambulance were common place. Hearing that someone had gotten shot or were killed was so usual that it had no affect on the community, only on those who were directly affected were moved.

We live in such a day where even the most horrible news doesn’t move us anymore. I can remember when I was in the Army, I was sent to Bosnia to intervene in their war. We were told that land minds were all over the place, so when you drive make sure you drive in the middle of the road. Gun shots sounded off each evening, my senses where on high alert. But after some time, even the sounds of gun shots and the fear of land minds became normal. Just like when I was in Compton, it became a way of life, and I learned how to live within this hostile environment.

This morning I woke up to the news of yet another young man gunned down in Inglewood, Ca. From my understanding, he was an entertainer, a rapper who was becoming very popular. I heard about it via Twitter, not the local news.

But what I did hear on the local news was stories about the cast of Jersey Shore going to Italy, a story of a young man who was not allowed to go to his prom and the millions of Tweets, Face Book post that were made in support for him to go to the prom.

My heart melted, because we are giving more attention to things that don’t matter, rather than crying out for things that are worthy. But we have become so numb to the news of another young male gunned down. It reminds me of the commercials that use to run when I was a young child about the starving children of Africa. Well they are still starving and we have just moved on.

There is a serious problem going on in America and I wonder does anyone care, or have we just become numb to it all.

The violence that is going on in America in the inner city is as worse as the prejudice that occurred in the last century. I think it is time for a Life Rights Movement, similar to the Civil Rights Movement. We need to get angry in a positive way, just as it was not acceptable for segregation and slavery; we have to feel the same way about our young men and women being gunned down.

I wonder does anyone feel that the genocide that is occurring in the inner city will have the same result as we felt racism, segregation and slavery would have on America’s future.

Remember,

THINK BETTER, LIVE BETTER!!!

Lessons On Success: What We Can Learn from The Lakers Loss

Anyone who knows me knows I’m a huge Laker’s fan. I enjoy their success on the court and agonize over their defeats. I like many other fans thought we would be celebrating the team’s 3-Peat and sending Coach Phil Jackson off into the sunset as one of the all time greatest coaches. Well, if Phil retires he will still go off into the sun set as one of the great coaches in any sport. However, there will be no 3-Peat for my Lakers.

I often tell people you learn more from failing then you do from winning. No one really studies what happens when they win, no watching film, no reasons given really for the win. But when you lose or fail, the microscope comes out, the fingers are pointing and answers, solutions are demanded.

What happened to the Lakers is what usually happens to many people who experience success on a constant basis. They relied on their past success, they became stagnate, they took the competition for granted and they stop improving.

I remember when I was in high school, running track; I had a degree of natural speed. Many of the races I won with no effort, but what I fail to realize was that everyone that I beat had instant motivation to beat me the next time they would race me. I returned to practice thinking I didn’t have to work that hard, because I already beat them.

I didn’t create a reason to work harder; I didn’t feel I needed to. I would just rely on my past success.

So what can we learn from the Lakers. Success is temporary. Every one you beat has instant motivation to work harder. Don’t live off past success, create the necessary motivation and desire to keep improving.

The Lakers our a successful organization, they have a long history of success, so I have no doubt that they will learn, correct the issues and be back on track.

But let’s all learn from them, and hopefully we can avoid the embarrassment the Lakers suffered by an opponent they took for granted.

Don’t allow your past success, to be your last success!!!

Remember,


THINK BETTER, LIVE BETTER!!!

LEADERSHIP & THE LAW OF RESPECT

The subject of leadership is a personal passion of mine and has been for over a decade. I try to read, listen and watch anything on leadership. It as been said that everything raises and falls on leadership. I think I love the topic of leadership so much because it really does control all aspects of our lives.

Now when I talk about leadership, you may be thinking I am talking about a person with a glorified position, someone like the President, a CEO of a company or maybe a ruler of a nation. But I need you to broaden your perspective on who is a leader. In its simplest definition, a leader is anyone with influence. With this definition in mind, the playing field just got a little wider.

So if a leader is anyone with influence, that means mothers and fathers, big brothers and sisters, teachers, lawyers, doctors and so on are leaders. Many people don’t think of themselves as leaders, because they don’t think they have influence. But as a parent, how many times have you told an older sibling not to do something because their younger sibling was watching them. You were really saying, you are a leader and I need you to set a good example.

When we understand that we are all leaders, it is then imperative that we realize that no matter the size of influence we have, we have influence. We must guard that influence and use it wisely.

I understand that for my eight year old daughter I have a great degree of influence, and that influence is multiplied beyond just her. Let me give you an example. If I tell my daughter something, or speak about someone to my daughter, she will repeat it to others, and who every she has influence over will repeat what was said and so on.

Since moving back to the United States, I have noticed that there is a great deal of disrespect for leadership in this country. Whether it is disrespect for parents, police, or just those in positions of authority. From how elected officials talk about each other to how the media speaks against the President.

There is always a penalty when leadership at any level is disrespected; the solution I believe is to return to a healthy respect for leadership. To do this, it takes everyone realizing they are leaders and they have influence.

No family, organization, community or nation will survive without a healthy respect for leadership…………………LEADERSHIP IS A NECESSITY, NOT AN OPTION !!!



As always,



THINK BETTER, LIVE BETTER!!!

HOW IMPORTANT IS GOAL SETTING

I don’t know about you, but I don’t like getting in my car without a predestined destination. I like to know the route I need to take, and have some idea of how long it will take me to get there. With the gas prices reaching some of its highest levels in history here in the United States, I hear people talk more and more about their driving practices. Some of the things I have heard; “If I don’t have to drive, I’m not driving.” “I’m looking for ways to save on gas” and so on. Many people are putting more thought into their driving practices then ever before.

But it is amazing to me how so few people put that type of thought and planning into their lives. We live life like we have unlimited gas, so we just waste time, energy and resources. Just as the gas prices are making people readjust their daily practices, I want you to put more thought into your life goals.

Goals give us direction in our day to day lives and help us end up at a desired place and not just any ole place. Goals create disciplined practices that become daily habits that help us reach our full potential.

Athletes create goals for themselves all the time. One such athlete is Andrea Bolder, the former Gold Medal Olympic Sprinter. Since Andrea was a young girl, her parents taught her how to set goals, create a plan to carry them out, and told her not to give up until she reached her goals.

Goal setting helped Andrea train and develop a lifestyle that would lead to her being one of the team members of the 4x400 relay team that won gold in the Sydney Olympics. After her stellar track and field career, Andrea found herself in a rut. Not living a life she enjoyed, she went back to what made her a success, setting goals.

She began to get a picture of the life she desired and began to set goals to lead her there. This Wednesday on the Dr. Will Speaks Radio Show, I talk with Andrea on her new life and how goal setting is helping her carve out the life she wants.

Tune in this Wednesday at 1:00pm EST!!!


Remember,

THINK BETTER, LIVE BETTER!!!

FAMILY PART 1

In any great society the family is the bedrock and foundation for stability, training, love and hope. When you see a decline in family, you will surely see the decline of a society. The family structure is so vital to survival; families are the heart and soul of life.

In this blog I want to give you three essentials for a great family, you may not be close to your family or even think that family is important. Hopefully by the time you finish reading this blog you will have a very different outlook on family.

It is true that in life you have many choices that you get to make, but one choice you don’t get to make is what family you are born into. Let me say this as well, when I speak about family I want to use an extended definition, a group of people who love each other and are willing to help move the group in a positive direction. So with this definition in mind let’s continue, because I am fully aware, that some of us may not have the traditional family set-up, so your family may be a tight knit group of friends.

Successful families move as a collective group, with the goal of everyone achieving the best life possible. There is a vision for each individual and a vision for the family. Successful families understand that TEAM WORK MAKES THE DREAM WORK.

My grandmother was the patriarch in my family, when she died, no one picked up the mantle for my family, and this caused us to drift into different directions for many years. Thankfully in recent years we have developed a desire to bring the family back.

One of the things that I notice in many families is that they do not operate interdependently, but rather independent. Most children at the age of 18 are thrown out to the wolves and left to make their own way in life. Most times this causes resentment and numerous mistakes that could have been avoided.

So what do I recommend, I think if you want to have a great family, you have to envision your family as a business. Businesses have many moving parts and people at ever level to make the business flow efficiently.

Three essentials to a great family are number one have a PICTURE of your family being successful. Have a picture of what type of family you want or desire. I picture my family coming together for birthdays, holidays and special events having a great time. I picture not only my children doing well in life, but my cousins, nieces and nephews as well.

The second essential for a successful family is to PLAN for it. If you want your children to go to college, you have to plan and prepare for it. You want to celebrate life together, plan life together. Birthdays are the same date each year; you never have to be caught off guard.

Lastly, PROMOTE family. That’s right, promote it, and let your family know how important they are to you. Express to extended family how important their presence means to you and other family members.

Well I’ll stop here and pick up next week. Also join me this Wednesday @ 1:00pm EST on the Dr. Will Speaks Radio Show, where I will be talking about this subject some more. www.blogtalkradio.com/dr-will-speaks


Remember,

THINK BETTER, LIVE BETTER!!!

KNOW THE RULES

I’m a huge basketball fan, and anyone who knows me, knows that I love the Lakers. I even played basketball in my younger days. Before I played basketball, I was an observer of the game; it looked very fun and had a great appeal to it. The moves, the shots, in some cases the fans in the stands, and the cheers, I wanted what I saw.

I wanted to jump on that court and play, I saw what the other players were doing and said to myself, “I can do that.” I was sure I could dribble the ball, I could jump, and I could shoot. I knew I could run up and down the court, the only thing left was to “PUT ME IN THE GAME COACH.”

All of us have gifts and talents and we just want to be put in the game. Whether we are talking about marriage, success, sports or business, we look at our ability and think that is all that is needed to be successful.

Just as I thought back in those early years of my basketball aspiration days, “JUST PUT ME IN COACH” so many are missing a key component in any endeavor. What is that key component?

KNOWING THE RULES OF THE GAME

That’s right, no matter how talented I was on the court, without a clear understanding of the rules, I would be non-effective and get penalized. In basketball the way you advance the ball is either by dribbling the ball or passing it to a team mate. Now I was very fast in my younger days, so in my rational opinion, why dribble, when I could just hold the ball, run past everyone and score. Great idea, only problem was that I would be violating the rules of the game.

When you don’t know the rules of the game, the game becomes very difficult and in many cases you will lose your passion. I see this happen all the time in my field of life coaching. Clients come to me frustrated, burnt out and ready to give up. They have experienced failure after failure, and it’s not because they are not gifted, it’s because they don’t know the rules of the game.

I see this played out in relationships all the time, mostly by women. Let me give you a quick test. As a woman, how do you let a guy know you like him or even love him? Is it by cooking for him? Because you were told, the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. I am willing to go out on a limb and say, yes being able to cook is an added bonus, but it is not the way to a man’s heart.

So many women are being penalized because they don’t know the relationship rules. The same can be said about your degree, I talk to students all the time that are in college, and I ask them, what degree are you getting, usually in many cases, they are pursuing degrees in areas they care or have no passion about. Success law number one says, pursue what you love.

In short, analyze what you are doing, what you are going after and ask yourself, what are the rules to this game. Remember, the rules for basketball are totally different than the rules for football.

Know the rules of whatever you are pursuing…………………

Think Better, Live Better!!!

DETERMINATION

“Mom, who is that old guy.” That was the question I asked my mom after I met this older gentlemen at the California State Prison. Her reply, “that is your father.” I didn’t know which was more shocking, my father being in jail or him being 50 years older than me.

As my mother and I returned to the bus stop to catch the bus back to our home in Compton, my seven year old mind didn’t know what to think. Even now as I write, I’m not sure what type of relationship I had with my father up until that point, but that trip is for ever cemented in my mind.

A single black mother, an incarcerated father and living in one of the most dangerous cities in America, on the surface, it doesn’t seem like a winning recipe for success.

But for me, I DETERMINED early on that these seemingly concrete obstacles would provide the necessary motivation I needed to succeed in life. There is a saying that goes like this “The bigger the dog chasing you, the faster you will run.” Growing up I had some great challenges, but I made up in my mind, they would not stop me.

In life you don’t get to choose your parents, you don’t choose your starting point and many of the test and trials are out of your control. Nevertheless, there comes a time when you take control for your future.

Many of you reading this blog have faced great challenges in your life and you still allow those past obstacles to dictate your future. What I have learned is how I finish in life is my fault, can’t do anything about the start or the past, but the future is in my hands.

Today I want you to DETERMINE, that the rest of your life is going to be the best of your life. I am far from being a perfect man, husband or father, and to be honest, perfection is not my goal. My goal is to finish better than I started. I want you to DETERMINE, to finish strong, and to finish better than you started as well.

The future is yours for the taken, TAKE IT!!!

TRUE SUCCESS

As a travel to speak to aspiring young leaders, those wanting to change their lives and others who want to succeed in life, the question always comes up “What can I do to become successful?” Many ask this question with a glaze in their eyes, expecting a one or two word reply from me. Than they are quickly let down when I reply “100 or so things.”

Now obviously it doesn’t take 100 things to become successful, but the idea is that it does take more than one thing to experience, maintain and die successful. On my continued journey of success and my study of success, I have found that there are some core elements to success. I have also noticed that lasting success is an ever going refining process.

The subject of success is very subjective, because the word conjures and elicits various definitions. Some say success is spiritual awakening; others say it is a monetary dimension, while some maintain that having good health is success.

I would like to agree with all and at the same time not limit myself to just these few areas, but rather broaden my perspective and say success is “Total Fulfillment In All Areas of Life.” This definition tells me that I am not limited to pursuing just one area, but all areas of my life.

See the richest man monetarily speaking, would trade his money for good health in a heart beat, but generally speaking a healthy person would not trade good health for any amount of money. So our desire should be to reach a balance in life.

Many people in pursuit of economic success usually become bankrupt in their health or family lives. Ignoring the balance factor of success will lead you to ultimate failure in life. I don’t want to be a health guru and be an awful father, there has to be a balance.

So, to obtain “Total Fulfillment In All Areas of Life.” You must be willing to development in various areas. For some being a father may come natural to you, maybe because you had a great father as an example. For others handling money may come easy because of certain training you have acquired.

Real success is not achieved over night it is a life long pursuit of refining yourself. You may find yourself pretty good in the home, but a poor employee. A great mom, but have poor eating habits. There will always be areas that we are working on if we want to truly be successful.

Our goal in being successful should always be to reach “Total Fulfillment In All Areas of Life.”