I don’t know about you, but I don’t like getting in my car without a predestined destination. I like to know the route I need to take, and have some idea of how long it will take me to get there. With the gas prices reaching some of its highest levels in history here in the United States, I hear people talk more and more about their driving practices. Some of the things I have heard; “If I don’t have to drive, I’m not driving.” “I’m looking for ways to save on gas” and so on. Many people are putting more thought into their driving practices then ever before.
But it is amazing to me how so few people put that type of thought and planning into their lives. We live life like we have unlimited gas, so we just waste time, energy and resources. Just as the gas prices are making people readjust their daily practices, I want you to put more thought into your life goals.
Goals give us direction in our day to day lives and help us end up at a desired place and not just any ole place. Goals create disciplined practices that become daily habits that help us reach our full potential.
Athletes create goals for themselves all the time. One such athlete is Andrea Bolder, the former Gold Medal Olympic Sprinter. Since Andrea was a young girl, her parents taught her how to set goals, create a plan to carry them out, and told her not to give up until she reached her goals.
Goal setting helped Andrea train and develop a lifestyle that would lead to her being one of the team members of the 4x400 relay team that won gold in the Sydney Olympics. After her stellar track and field career, Andrea found herself in a rut. Not living a life she enjoyed, she went back to what made her a success, setting goals.
She began to get a picture of the life she desired and began to set goals to lead her there. This Wednesday on the Dr. Will Speaks Radio Show, I talk with Andrea on her new life and how goal setting is helping her carve out the life she wants.
Tune in this Wednesday at 1:00pm EST!!!
Remember,
THINK BETTER, LIVE BETTER!!!
Monday, April 25, 2011
Monday, April 18, 2011
FAMILY PART 1
In any great society the family is the bedrock and foundation for stability, training, love and hope. When you see a decline in family, you will surely see the decline of a society. The family structure is so vital to survival; families are the heart and soul of life.
In this blog I want to give you three essentials for a great family, you may not be close to your family or even think that family is important. Hopefully by the time you finish reading this blog you will have a very different outlook on family.
It is true that in life you have many choices that you get to make, but one choice you don’t get to make is what family you are born into. Let me say this as well, when I speak about family I want to use an extended definition, a group of people who love each other and are willing to help move the group in a positive direction. So with this definition in mind let’s continue, because I am fully aware, that some of us may not have the traditional family set-up, so your family may be a tight knit group of friends.
Successful families move as a collective group, with the goal of everyone achieving the best life possible. There is a vision for each individual and a vision for the family. Successful families understand that TEAM WORK MAKES THE DREAM WORK.
My grandmother was the patriarch in my family, when she died, no one picked up the mantle for my family, and this caused us to drift into different directions for many years. Thankfully in recent years we have developed a desire to bring the family back.
One of the things that I notice in many families is that they do not operate interdependently, but rather independent. Most children at the age of 18 are thrown out to the wolves and left to make their own way in life. Most times this causes resentment and numerous mistakes that could have been avoided.
So what do I recommend, I think if you want to have a great family, you have to envision your family as a business. Businesses have many moving parts and people at ever level to make the business flow efficiently.
Three essentials to a great family are number one have a PICTURE of your family being successful. Have a picture of what type of family you want or desire. I picture my family coming together for birthdays, holidays and special events having a great time. I picture not only my children doing well in life, but my cousins, nieces and nephews as well.
The second essential for a successful family is to PLAN for it. If you want your children to go to college, you have to plan and prepare for it. You want to celebrate life together, plan life together. Birthdays are the same date each year; you never have to be caught off guard.
Lastly, PROMOTE family. That’s right, promote it, and let your family know how important they are to you. Express to extended family how important their presence means to you and other family members.
Well I’ll stop here and pick up next week. Also join me this Wednesday @ 1:00pm EST on the Dr. Will Speaks Radio Show, where I will be talking about this subject some more. www.blogtalkradio.com/dr-will-speaks
Remember,
THINK BETTER, LIVE BETTER!!!
In this blog I want to give you three essentials for a great family, you may not be close to your family or even think that family is important. Hopefully by the time you finish reading this blog you will have a very different outlook on family.
It is true that in life you have many choices that you get to make, but one choice you don’t get to make is what family you are born into. Let me say this as well, when I speak about family I want to use an extended definition, a group of people who love each other and are willing to help move the group in a positive direction. So with this definition in mind let’s continue, because I am fully aware, that some of us may not have the traditional family set-up, so your family may be a tight knit group of friends.
Successful families move as a collective group, with the goal of everyone achieving the best life possible. There is a vision for each individual and a vision for the family. Successful families understand that TEAM WORK MAKES THE DREAM WORK.
My grandmother was the patriarch in my family, when she died, no one picked up the mantle for my family, and this caused us to drift into different directions for many years. Thankfully in recent years we have developed a desire to bring the family back.
One of the things that I notice in many families is that they do not operate interdependently, but rather independent. Most children at the age of 18 are thrown out to the wolves and left to make their own way in life. Most times this causes resentment and numerous mistakes that could have been avoided.
So what do I recommend, I think if you want to have a great family, you have to envision your family as a business. Businesses have many moving parts and people at ever level to make the business flow efficiently.
Three essentials to a great family are number one have a PICTURE of your family being successful. Have a picture of what type of family you want or desire. I picture my family coming together for birthdays, holidays and special events having a great time. I picture not only my children doing well in life, but my cousins, nieces and nephews as well.
The second essential for a successful family is to PLAN for it. If you want your children to go to college, you have to plan and prepare for it. You want to celebrate life together, plan life together. Birthdays are the same date each year; you never have to be caught off guard.
Lastly, PROMOTE family. That’s right, promote it, and let your family know how important they are to you. Express to extended family how important their presence means to you and other family members.
Well I’ll stop here and pick up next week. Also join me this Wednesday @ 1:00pm EST on the Dr. Will Speaks Radio Show, where I will be talking about this subject some more. www.blogtalkradio.com/dr-will-speaks
Remember,
THINK BETTER, LIVE BETTER!!!
Monday, April 11, 2011
KNOW THE RULES
I’m a huge basketball fan, and anyone who knows me, knows that I love the Lakers. I even played basketball in my younger days. Before I played basketball, I was an observer of the game; it looked very fun and had a great appeal to it. The moves, the shots, in some cases the fans in the stands, and the cheers, I wanted what I saw.
I wanted to jump on that court and play, I saw what the other players were doing and said to myself, “I can do that.” I was sure I could dribble the ball, I could jump, and I could shoot. I knew I could run up and down the court, the only thing left was to “PUT ME IN THE GAME COACH.”
All of us have gifts and talents and we just want to be put in the game. Whether we are talking about marriage, success, sports or business, we look at our ability and think that is all that is needed to be successful.
Just as I thought back in those early years of my basketball aspiration days, “JUST PUT ME IN COACH” so many are missing a key component in any endeavor. What is that key component?
KNOWING THE RULES OF THE GAME
That’s right, no matter how talented I was on the court, without a clear understanding of the rules, I would be non-effective and get penalized. In basketball the way you advance the ball is either by dribbling the ball or passing it to a team mate. Now I was very fast in my younger days, so in my rational opinion, why dribble, when I could just hold the ball, run past everyone and score. Great idea, only problem was that I would be violating the rules of the game.
When you don’t know the rules of the game, the game becomes very difficult and in many cases you will lose your passion. I see this happen all the time in my field of life coaching. Clients come to me frustrated, burnt out and ready to give up. They have experienced failure after failure, and it’s not because they are not gifted, it’s because they don’t know the rules of the game.
I see this played out in relationships all the time, mostly by women. Let me give you a quick test. As a woman, how do you let a guy know you like him or even love him? Is it by cooking for him? Because you were told, the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. I am willing to go out on a limb and say, yes being able to cook is an added bonus, but it is not the way to a man’s heart.
So many women are being penalized because they don’t know the relationship rules. The same can be said about your degree, I talk to students all the time that are in college, and I ask them, what degree are you getting, usually in many cases, they are pursuing degrees in areas they care or have no passion about. Success law number one says, pursue what you love.
In short, analyze what you are doing, what you are going after and ask yourself, what are the rules to this game. Remember, the rules for basketball are totally different than the rules for football.
Know the rules of whatever you are pursuing…………………
Think Better, Live Better!!!
Monday, April 4, 2011
DETERMINATION
“Mom, who is that old guy.” That was the question I asked my mom after I met this older gentlemen at the California State Prison. Her reply, “that is your father.” I didn’t know which was more shocking, my father being in jail or him being 50 years older than me.
As my mother and I returned to the bus stop to catch the bus back to our home in Compton, my seven year old mind didn’t know what to think. Even now as I write, I’m not sure what type of relationship I had with my father up until that point, but that trip is for ever cemented in my mind.
A single black mother, an incarcerated father and living in one of the most dangerous cities in America, on the surface, it doesn’t seem like a winning recipe for success.
But for me, I DETERMINED early on that these seemingly concrete obstacles would provide the necessary motivation I needed to succeed in life. There is a saying that goes like this “The bigger the dog chasing you, the faster you will run.” Growing up I had some great challenges, but I made up in my mind, they would not stop me.
In life you don’t get to choose your parents, you don’t choose your starting point and many of the test and trials are out of your control. Nevertheless, there comes a time when you take control for your future.
Many of you reading this blog have faced great challenges in your life and you still allow those past obstacles to dictate your future. What I have learned is how I finish in life is my fault, can’t do anything about the start or the past, but the future is in my hands.
Today I want you to DETERMINE, that the rest of your life is going to be the best of your life. I am far from being a perfect man, husband or father, and to be honest, perfection is not my goal. My goal is to finish better than I started. I want you to DETERMINE, to finish strong, and to finish better than you started as well.
The future is yours for the taken, TAKE IT!!!
As my mother and I returned to the bus stop to catch the bus back to our home in Compton, my seven year old mind didn’t know what to think. Even now as I write, I’m not sure what type of relationship I had with my father up until that point, but that trip is for ever cemented in my mind.
A single black mother, an incarcerated father and living in one of the most dangerous cities in America, on the surface, it doesn’t seem like a winning recipe for success.
But for me, I DETERMINED early on that these seemingly concrete obstacles would provide the necessary motivation I needed to succeed in life. There is a saying that goes like this “The bigger the dog chasing you, the faster you will run.” Growing up I had some great challenges, but I made up in my mind, they would not stop me.
In life you don’t get to choose your parents, you don’t choose your starting point and many of the test and trials are out of your control. Nevertheless, there comes a time when you take control for your future.
Many of you reading this blog have faced great challenges in your life and you still allow those past obstacles to dictate your future. What I have learned is how I finish in life is my fault, can’t do anything about the start or the past, but the future is in my hands.
Today I want you to DETERMINE, that the rest of your life is going to be the best of your life. I am far from being a perfect man, husband or father, and to be honest, perfection is not my goal. My goal is to finish better than I started. I want you to DETERMINE, to finish strong, and to finish better than you started as well.
The future is yours for the taken, TAKE IT!!!
Saturday, April 2, 2011
TRUE SUCCESS
As a travel to speak to aspiring young leaders, those wanting to change their lives and others who want to succeed in life, the question always comes up “What can I do to become successful?” Many ask this question with a glaze in their eyes, expecting a one or two word reply from me. Than they are quickly let down when I reply “100 or so things.”
Now obviously it doesn’t take 100 things to become successful, but the idea is that it does take more than one thing to experience, maintain and die successful. On my continued journey of success and my study of success, I have found that there are some core elements to success. I have also noticed that lasting success is an ever going refining process.
The subject of success is very subjective, because the word conjures and elicits various definitions. Some say success is spiritual awakening; others say it is a monetary dimension, while some maintain that having good health is success.
I would like to agree with all and at the same time not limit myself to just these few areas, but rather broaden my perspective and say success is “Total Fulfillment In All Areas of Life.” This definition tells me that I am not limited to pursuing just one area, but all areas of my life.
See the richest man monetarily speaking, would trade his money for good health in a heart beat, but generally speaking a healthy person would not trade good health for any amount of money. So our desire should be to reach a balance in life.
Many people in pursuit of economic success usually become bankrupt in their health or family lives. Ignoring the balance factor of success will lead you to ultimate failure in life. I don’t want to be a health guru and be an awful father, there has to be a balance.
So, to obtain “Total Fulfillment In All Areas of Life.” You must be willing to development in various areas. For some being a father may come natural to you, maybe because you had a great father as an example. For others handling money may come easy because of certain training you have acquired.
Real success is not achieved over night it is a life long pursuit of refining yourself. You may find yourself pretty good in the home, but a poor employee. A great mom, but have poor eating habits. There will always be areas that we are working on if we want to truly be successful.
Our goal in being successful should always be to reach “Total Fulfillment In All Areas of Life.”
Now obviously it doesn’t take 100 things to become successful, but the idea is that it does take more than one thing to experience, maintain and die successful. On my continued journey of success and my study of success, I have found that there are some core elements to success. I have also noticed that lasting success is an ever going refining process.
The subject of success is very subjective, because the word conjures and elicits various definitions. Some say success is spiritual awakening; others say it is a monetary dimension, while some maintain that having good health is success.
I would like to agree with all and at the same time not limit myself to just these few areas, but rather broaden my perspective and say success is “Total Fulfillment In All Areas of Life.” This definition tells me that I am not limited to pursuing just one area, but all areas of my life.
See the richest man monetarily speaking, would trade his money for good health in a heart beat, but generally speaking a healthy person would not trade good health for any amount of money. So our desire should be to reach a balance in life.
Many people in pursuit of economic success usually become bankrupt in their health or family lives. Ignoring the balance factor of success will lead you to ultimate failure in life. I don’t want to be a health guru and be an awful father, there has to be a balance.
So, to obtain “Total Fulfillment In All Areas of Life.” You must be willing to development in various areas. For some being a father may come natural to you, maybe because you had a great father as an example. For others handling money may come easy because of certain training you have acquired.
Real success is not achieved over night it is a life long pursuit of refining yourself. You may find yourself pretty good in the home, but a poor employee. A great mom, but have poor eating habits. There will always be areas that we are working on if we want to truly be successful.
Our goal in being successful should always be to reach “Total Fulfillment In All Areas of Life.”
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